A Rose By Any Other Name

Original Post July 2023

It’s interesting that our parents choose our names based on what resonates with them. Sometimes they think carefully about meanings and qualities they hope their child will embody. Other times, the name simply feels right. Of course, parents have to choose a name before they have any real sense of a child’s personality, which makes it even more fascinating that so many people eventually grow into their names anyway. Over time, the meaning often seems to fit, whether by coincidence or adaptation.

My mother wanted to name me Tammy. I don’t feel like a Tammy, though I suppose if I had grown up with that name, I might have become one. My father preferred Wendy, which happens to mean “wanderer,” derived from the idea of winding or meandering, like a river finding its own course. To wend is to go one’s own way, and that description has followed me my entire life.

In numerology, my life path number is five, which carries themes of independence, restlessness, freedom, and unpredictability. When you put those pieces together, “wanderer” becomes a remarkably accurate summary of my nature. Freedom—finding it internally, protecting it, and offering it to others—has been a central theme in my life. I’ve never felt compelled to change my first name. It suits me, and I’m comfortable inhabiting it.

My last name is a different story.

When I divorced my husband after twenty-five years of marriage, I chose to keep my married name. At the time, the reasoning was practical. I had carried that name longer than my maiden name, and sharing a last name with my children—especially with my youngest still in school—felt grounding and simple. It made life easier. However, now that my ex-husband is engaged, the name no longer feels neutral. I briefly considered returning to my maiden name. However, there is too much ancestral weight and unresolved history there, and I have no desire to place myself under that banner for the final third of my life.

I’ll be turning fifty next year, and I’ve just entered my Chiron return. In Human Design terms, as a 4/6 Manifestor, I am currently “on the roof.” The sixth line experiences life in three distinct phases. From birth through the Saturn return around age twenty-eight, life is largely about immersion—trial, error, pain, and experience. It’s intense, often chaotic, and deeply formative.

The period between the Saturn return and the Chiron return is the “on the roof” phase. During this time, there is a sense of detachment from the grind of life. Growth continues, but it feels slower, almost like moving through deep water. There is motion, but it’s not efficient or forceful. This stage is about observation, integration, and skill-building. It’s also when many sixth-line people refine what they will eventually offer the world.

After the Chiron return, the sixth line moves into the role of the Sage or Elder. This is the stage of embodied wisdom, guidance, and service. We find our people and contribute based on what we’ve lived, not what we’ve studied. After more than two decades of feeling somewhat separate from the world, the idea of fully re-entering it is both meaningful and daunting. As a Manifestor, I imagine my contribution will be quieter, perhaps more like the Crone at the edge of the village than the Mother at the center of the marketplace.

I have no desire to brand myself aggressively, promote constantly, or become a public figure tied to a particular product or platform. I admire those who do, and I respect the impact they make, but it isn’t my path. I’m content offering insight, guidance, and support in ways that feel aligned and unforced.

That understanding is the backdrop against which I’m choosing a new last name. I’d like to have it finalized by the end of the year for practical reasons. I could time it to coincide with a specific astrological moment, but as a Manifestor, when an urge arrives, it asks to be honored promptly.

As I wander through the possibilities, I feel grateful for Human Design, the Gene Keys, numerology, and the deep internal work of this “on the roof” stage. I’m curious whether the name I choose will actively shift my energy, or whether it will simply affirm the direction my life was already taking.

Either way, it feels like a meaningful choice. And one worth making with intention.

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2024 Update – The name I chose was Quinn